>> Sam Stanley talks with relief after coming out but reveals how difficult it was to face up to his sexuality
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Sam Stanley, 23 ans, est devenu dimanche le premier joueur professionnel anglais encore en activité à faire son coming out.
Ancien joueur des Saracens, l’athlète révèle dans les colonnes du Sunday Times sa souffrance, craignant l’impact de sa révélation sur sa carrière : « J’avais 10 ou 11 ans quand j’ai réalisé que j’étais différent de mes amis. Je ne voulais pas l’accepter, je me disais que je n’avais pas le droit d’être différent. J’avais une petite amie, et je me disais que ce n’étais qu’une phase, que ça allait passer. »
Sam Stanley est le neveu de Joe Stanley, champion du monde avec la Nouvelle-Zélande en 1987, et son frère Mike a été retenu dans la sélection samoane pour la prochaine Coupe du monde. Ses cousins Winston et Benson évoluent respectivement aux Harlequins et à Clermont.
En couple depuis cinq ans, le jeune homme confie également avoir pensé au suicide : « Je me tenais sur un pont il y a cinq ans, et je regardais l’autoroute… Quand j’y pense désormais, je me dis que l’idée de me voir sauter est ridicule. Mais à l’époque je voulais simplement me débarrasser de ma douleur une bonne fois pour toute. J’étais si inquiet à l’idée de ce que les gens allaient penser. Je pensais que je ne pouvais pas devenir un rugbyman macho vu ce que j’étais, et pourtant je ne voulais rien faire d’autre. »
En décembre 2009, c’est le Gallois Gareth Thomas qui avait dévoilé son homosexualité.
« Cela sera toujours un problème jusqu’à ce que plus de gens et d’athlètes fassent leur coming out », regrette Stanley. « Cela pourrait prendre des années, mais j’espère que beaucoup de gens vont trouver le courage.»
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>> Stanley has spoken of the anguish he felt at not being able to discuss personal problems with family or close friends.
‘I was really happy with him but if there was a bad day I wouldn’t be able to share it with anyone else. One birthday we were going through a tough time and it was all really hard to take. It would have been nice to get things off my mind with someone else.’
Stanley recalls one moment when the though of ending all the pain and worry crossed his mind.
Stanley has spoken of the anguish he felt at not being able to discuss personal problems with family or close friends.
‘I was really happy with him but if there was a bad day I wouldn’t be able to share it with anyone else. One birthday we were going through a tough time and it was all really hard to take. It would have been nice to get things off my mind with someone else.’
Stanley recalls one moment when the though of ending all the pain and worry crossed his mind.
‘I was standing on a bridge about four or five years ago, overlooking a motorway in Essex,’ he explains. ‘However, looking back, the idea that I would jump was ridiculous but it was as if I was thinking that I could get rid of the pain in one go.
‘You are so worried about what people will think and I thought I couldn’t be a macho rugby player the way I was, and there was nothing else I wanted to do with my life.’
Stanley joined Aviva Premiership side Saracens in 2010 before joining the sevens circuit four years later and his decision to reveal his sexuality comes five years after former Wales international Gareth Thomas announced he was gay.
Earlier this month Keegan Hirst, a professional rugby league player for Batley Bulldogs announced that he was gay and Stanley has followed suit after receiving advice from 2003 World Cup winner Ben Cohen, whose Stand Up Foundation campaigns against bullying.
‘Ben is a great person to talk to. He gave me loads of great advice,’ Stanley said.
